Wow... I really got spanked this weekend.......I needed it......My boyfriend spanked me pretty hard last night but for some reason this morning I wanted alittle bit more ...and now my butt is sooo sore....all day shopping I felt my little secret. No one that knows me, except my one best friend, would have any idea of my secret fetish. I appear like such the good girl, all sweet and innocent, but in reality I love being a bad girl and getting spanked for it. Sometimes during sex me and the boyfriend get into the most perfect rhythm and most perfect angle of penetration. Last night, I felt like I was literally bouncing up and down on him. He was behind me and I was kneeling between his legs. My orgasm was so intense because I could fully let go. It was so wonderful. Then at 5 am this morning he wakes me up again putting himself inside me. I was nice and dreamy. My pussy is still a little sore. I think my boyfriends hand might be sore too...I was wearing my cutest ruffled panties and even during sleep my boyfriends hand was patting and rubbing my ass.

I Want

I need a pair of these stockings. They are so cute with the bows. I already have the red panties and the bathbrush.

I'm so Kinky

I told my boyfriend that I needed a real spanking this weekend, I felt really extra naughty. It was the first time I felt like I needed a spanking for punishment. I wanted the full punishment experience, which i don't think I've ever really had. He of course indulged me as he usually does. First he asked me what was it I had done that was so bad and I couldn't tell him, but just said it was really bad and I deserved a spanking. I love it when he talks to me and asks me things in his male authoritarian voice....the whole psychology of it it is what really makes me wet. I am sometimes amazed by my boyfriends ability to be in control.....I always feel safe with him. I did want him to push me a little further.....and scare me a little...that's what makes my heart beat really fast, a physiological type response.....I love feeling his big hands holding me down on the small of my back......I really just have to surrender and trust him when he spanks me...I wish I could surrender and trust him more in the relationship. This spanking was almost perfect, he took me to a level, then stopped and rubbed my ass and played with me some, I sucked him, then he took me to another higher level...... and another..... gradually increasing the intensity. One lovely thing he did was caress my bottom really tenderly, which opposed to the sting of the spanking made each sensation all the more intense. It really did sting so much and at some point I noticed a change in consciousness..... I don't know how I can take it, but I always know that I want to. It was deliciously too much..... I like things that are too much...too much loving..... too much spanking......I felt that spanking the next day, especially getting into my bath, and I even felt it some on Sunday. I love my dirty little spanking secret. I love that I'm kinky. Oh getting wet now proof reading this.

Who is the Sexy Little Muse and What Does She Want

Been holdingon to this post for a while, but might as wellpost it;
I'm a 34 year old single mom. I'm a petite 5'3" and 3/4. 106 pounds. Complex, moody, not always rational. I have long silky red hair below my shoulders. My hobbies include being spanked, dark chocolate, and pondering the nature of the universe. I am a 4 on the enneagram.
I' ve been a seeker my whole life. Always looking for the missing piece. I'm one of those women who just adore sex. I can 10 or 15 orgasms if I want. I usually like at least 3 or 4. I was thinking exactly what is it I desire from a relationship with a man? Early on I was a romantic. My first thought of wanting a boyfriend was when I was at 13, I still have my diary from then. I would like to be held while I cry. I was reading another blog and the woman wrote about how she was crying about something unresolved in her past and that her husband just held her. I have had men in my past get angry with me for crying and have had men that wanted to explain why my emotions weren't valid. Sometimes I just want to be held. Did I mention I was a cry baby? Its something I can't help. I never learned or something. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl...hot or cold but never luke warm. I don't do things half way. I need a strong man, but he has to be tender too, and understanding. I like presents. I'm emotional. I love to cook. I get depressed or I should say that I've battled depression my whole life. Right now I'm trying to stay off of anti depressants. I take St. JohnsWort, L-theanine, and Kava Kava on certain days. I think I have anger management issues. I'm thinking I should post some of this on my other blog. I feel sexier now in my 30's than I ever did in my teens and twenties. I want to feel cherished, special and adored. I wouldn't mind being spanked til I cried.

A bad kitty needs spanking

I want spanked at the same time every month. Need the release.......sooo bad. Sometimes I delight in being a good girl, today I'm totally a bad girl and I don't even care. Bad is fun, deviousness is good. Naughty really is nice.

Cake

"he wants to have his cake and eat it too. The thing is, I'm a pretty fine piece of cake, and I'm done waiting around. :>"

Kiss Me

I love pulling down my panties, I love being told to pull down my panties. I think the woman in this picture is pulling them down so her lover can kiss her there.

Passion

MISGUIDED ANGEL
(Margo and Michael Timmins)

I said "Mama, he's crazy and he scares me
But I want him by my side
though he's wild and he's bad
and sometimes just plain mad
I need him to keep me satisfied"

I said "Papa, don't cry cause it's alright
And I see you in some of his ways
Though he might not give me the life that you wanted
I'll love him the rest of my days"

Misguided angel hangin' over me
Heart like a Gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a Lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you 'til I'm dead

I said "Brother, you speak to me of passion
You said never to settle for nothing less
Well, it's in the way he walks,
it's in the way he talks
His smile, his anger and his kisses"

I said "Sister, don't you understand?
He's all I ever wanted in a man
I'm tired of sittin' around the T.V. every night
Hoping I'm finding a Mr. Right"

Misguided angel hangin' over me
Heart like a Gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a Lucifer
Black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you 'til I'm dead

He says "Baby, don't listen to what they say
There comes a time when you have to break away"
He says "Baby there are things we all cling to all our life
It's time to let them go and become my wife"

Misguided angel hangin' over me
Heart like a Gabriel, pure and white as ivory
Soul like a Lucifer
Black and cold like a piece of lead
Misguided angel, love you 'til I'm dead

This song used too be about a specific man, and today it means something else. It just came to my mind as I was pondering men, sex, and relationships. Although, I have my heart broken too many times, I have experienced great passion. Thank You God. True great passion does touch something beyond. Once you've tasted it, you can't settle for anything less.

On Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

from

The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran

What is it that I desire? ........It is passion.........a surrendering, letting go.....exaltation.......

Thinking Sex

Sex ..... something so complexly layered.......Been having sex for some 19 years. wow......I have always been a really sexual creature from a very early age......I don't ever remember feeling innocent......It continually gets better and better with each lover that I have explored with. I feel such a release when being sexual...lately, I have really enjoyed my submissive side greatly...it provides such a wonderful break from having to be in control all the time, sometimes I crave this at certain times......Still I know I'm limited.... that there is so much more...... Although I have experimented alot, I can lack real intimacy, I'm extremely shy. Sometimes I cry after sex, which means that I really needed something released and feel safe enough to do so. My lover is so sweet about this and always asks if I'm okay. I like to be held extra afterward, it really makes me feel loved. Sometimes I feel too sexual, I have had my share of negative experiences with stupid boys when I was younger and some things still hurt. I have been raped. I never really stopped long enough to think about it. I never even cried about it. I wish I could regain my innocence in a way. I know what it feels like to be different sexually, especially the spanking thing, at first I felt such shame and embarrassment, I know what its like to try and repress something and then feel it even more. I feel that I'm not quite in touch with myself in a way, what is it that I'm truly craving, needing, desiring.