why i like to be spanked

well i don't know exactly when i discovered this wonderful little aspect to my sexual persona, probably around the time i discovered the internet. I had always liked being with strong aggressive men....didnt know why i liked bad boys until recently, i think i have it figured out.. i liked ( past tense) bad boys because i like to be a sexual submissive at times. i thought these guys would be able to meet my sexual needs. it drives me crazy when my boyfriend holds my wrists down over my head or behind my back if we are doing it from behind......although im not so submissive that i ever want to be sex slave...well maybe for a night or 2 heheheee....but i do love to be spanked....my favorite position to be spanked in is over his knee it has this whole childhood element to it that i love... also i love his lap so much...i guess like most other spankos i know, the whole panty pulling down is intensely erotic for me i feel so vunerable when he does it or when he tells me to pull them down and yes i love when they are pulled part way down i feel so vunerable and exposed i love it.......my boyfriend is an expert at hitting just the right spots which for me are my sit spots and occasionally on the back of my thighs which stings so nicely.....the spankings i like are sexual ones i get wet easily from spanking and i love it when he runs his hands between my thighs and remarks how wet ive become...makes me feel like an extra naughty girl.....i love it when he tells me how naughty i am too....i also love it when he says im a good girl too.... i guess i'll have to psychoanalyse later.....my tummy has flutters just thinking about it.....i like it when he calls me little one too and kitten. i guess i enjoy a little ageplay with my sex as well...i cant help it, my man has a paternal nature to him and i have never been with anyone like that before including my own estranged father so naturally he brings out my inner little girl.....i really have no idea what he really thinks about spanking me... he has always been as ass man so i know that some aspects of it are apealling to him, but he does not want to really hurt me, which is so sweet cause a lot of men would not care. the other night he was spanking me and he said how his hand was hurting and he said he knew that i must be feeling it too...so im wondering if we should use something else to spank me with ...although in a weird way not all aspects of spanking turn me on. i really only like hand spankings although i would like to try a ruler or a wooden spoon. i still am sort of shy about my little spanking fetish, but thanks to all those women that have written about their experiences i dont feel so alone....i do wish he would spank me a little harder i think he will get to know my limits and needs......i want him to push my limits and spank me just a little bit more than i want just enough to make me squirm a little and also the whole hes in charge kind of thing.... yeah i love it that im helpless.... and the whole subspace thing.....i wonder if he knows how much spanking is a stress reliever for me.....and also if he knows how wonderful it feels to feel my butt being sore afterward even the next day its like a reminder of him......so far i have not been spanked that hard yet, but maybe soon.....its defiantly interesting to think of ones self as a feminist and then to admit that you love it when your boyfriend spanks you like a little girl......and that you like him to be the boss and that you want to feel helpless and vunerable and submissive and not have any control......there are many other aspects about my sexuality that i will write about in this blog and its not all about spanking but for right now it is cause its kind of a new thing for me and him......bought some really cool new ultra girlie panties, i cant wait to wear them for him and to get spanked in them.